So Oromocto, New Brunswick got themselves a groundhog last year - had a naming contest and everything. Oromocto Ollie. Why not Gordon the Groundhog? Or Genesta? Or Graham Wafer?
But, the thing is, it was never truly their groundhog.
I mean, everybody else's groundhog is essentially a caged pet - their weather casting servant of sorts. They haul the hog out of its house and pretend to listen to it's weather forecast. Oromocto's vermin was wild and in an outdoor burrow of its own. It was reluctant to come out last year and this year the program is done.
Although, according to news reports, they say the groundhog is still in the burrow. And it's a female groundhog. No wonder there was the problem. Probably knows it's a female groundhog's right to change her mind.
The key is the caged groundhog that "lives" forever - like the old Phantom(Ghost Who Walks) character from the thirties. I mean, c'mon, the original Wiarton Willie Wodent is long gone. I'm assuming he was well taken care of and was dragged willingly from his provided burrow each February 2nd.
Either that, or some Laurence-Olivier-in-Marathon-Man-type came in and gave him the old "Is it safe?" routine.
Get with it, Oromocto, and realize that you gotta control your weather forecaster. Then you control the weather. Otherwise, you're roadkill on the lonely cold highways of New Brunswick.
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